B-Side Sunday.

Break out the bunting and your sunday best, because it’s the glorious return of the sabbath ceremony that has everything, but still wouldn’t think twice about trading it all for a little more. In these godless last days, B-Side Sunday stands tall amidst the small, packing its ferverent zeal with such swarthy composure and demur grace that rumours abound the vicar has DeBrett’s Guide To Etiquette tattooed onto the inside of his eyelids. And even if he doesn’t, B-Side Sunday is still more euphoric than necking a fistful of viagra and leaping spread-legged into the sweaty, beating heart of the wildest Bacchanalian orgy; a shameless tart of a weekly ritual that exists only to get you off, delivered with all the righteous conviction of a dogmatic fanatic smashing himself in the face with a hammer and screaming ”FELT NOWT!” as bits of brain trickle down his face. For those not ready to stop believing, B-Side Sunday is there with a hot mug of empathy and two spoonfuls of understanding until you’re bodypopping in spiritual enlightenment like Barry George on day release. Because when you enter the church on this holiest of days, there is no need for Heaven; you’re already there.

Before it was kicked to death in several thousand adverts, ‘I’m Free’ was a beauty of jangle-some wonderment that smoothly welded classic songsmithery to hypnotic grooves. After it was kicked to death in several thousands adverts, it still was. Introduced as the flip side to ‘Get Off Of My Cloud,’ it’s summer like ice lollies and sand between your toes – an aural patchwork of chords drenched in sunshine and warm, hazy production that can’t fail to leave you feeling all misty-eyed in remembrance of those halcyon days of your misspent youth. And despite Jagger singing as smugly as a toad that has slithered into your fridge and gobbled all the Camembert, it still succeeds in being the best thing since sliced Beatles. So as another monolith week of toiling futility lumbers into view and stretches off into the horizon, just remember that everything ends in nothing, because it kind of takes the pressure off. Amen.